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you want one, don't you? I mean, you love her, don't you? I mean, a baby. Jesus,
that's great. Isn't it?"
Jason waved his hand at him, telling him to shut up.
"Alex, is he sure?" he asked.
"Oh yeah, he's positive," she said, then paused. "The pills I've been taking
weren't strong enough. I'd been off birth control for a while and got back on it
just before I met you to try to regulate my periods. My gynecologist and I still
were trying to find the right dosage when I found you."
Jason didn't say anything.
"Well, what are we going to do?" Alex said.
"What do you mean what are we going to do?"
"I mean, what are we going to do? We're not married, you remember. Are we
going to get married?"
"I& I don't know. I mean, I guess that'd be the thing to do. I just hadn't thought
much about it I mean, I had, but not really& "
"Jason, don't you want this baby?" she asked.
"Well, sure. I mean, yeah. Damn, Alex, this is a total shock. What do you want
me to say?"
Alex waited for a few seconds before she spoke again.
"Jason, there's something I haven't told you yet, but now seems to be the time,"
she said. "I had an abortion when I was sixteen. I got pregnant from my high
school boyfriend. I'm not going through that again. Whether we get married or
not, I'm going to have this baby. I want you to be its father, not just a biological
father, but the one that raises his child, who's there when a knee gets skinned or a
hug is needed. Are you willing to do that?"
"Yeah, yeah, I guess I am," Jason stammered. "It's just such a surprise. I don't
know what to say. Listen, can you come home today? We need to talk about this
and I'm wrapped up in this case. I'm expecting a very important phone call any
second."
"Yeah, I was going to come home today anyway," she said. "I'll call you when I
get in. Will you be at home or the office?"
"I don't know. Try both. I'll be at one or the other."
"Okay, I'll call you later. And Jason? I love you."
"I love you, too," he said and hung up.
Badger was standing over him, a huge grin on his face. When he saw Jason's
expression, the smile faded around the edges.
"Hey, this is great, buddy," he said, slapping Jason on the back. "A baby. You
virile stud you."
Jason smiled sort of.
"I guess you're right. I don't know. Shit, Badger. One more thing on my
shoulders. like I don't have enough problems already."
"Hey, this isn't a problem," Badger said. "It's a solution. Man, I've been watching
you for almost two years, ever since you lost Sarah and Claire. You can hem and
haw and say it's too soon, and you're not ready, but that's bullshit. Your mood
has improved one hundred percent since you met Alex. She's the best thing that
could've happened to you. I mean, it's not as if you have to get married, at least
not yet. Plenty of couples have babies without being married. And I suspect that,
given a few weeks to think about it, you'll decide marriage is right for you
anyway. You're not exactly the bar-hopping type."
"Maybe," Jason said. "But wouldn't Quintard just love to get his teeth into the
fact that Alex and I aren't married but we have a baby?"
"Fuck him," Badger said. "Bringing up something like that up will only make
him look like a fool. People around here don't much care for having their private
lives snooped into, especially if you're just an average guy and not a politician."
Despair filled Jason's eyes and he looked up at Badger. "But what about Sarah
and Claire," he asked. "Am I staining their memories?"
Badger sat down on the edge of Jason's desk. His face got serious.
"You love Sarah and Claire," he said quietly. "You'll always love them. And
they'll always love you. There's no way they'd want you to pass up a chance for
happiness. I know Sarah wouldn't. She wasn't that kind of woman."
"Maybe," Jason said. "Maybe."
The conversation was interrupted by the ringing phone. Jason answered it.
"Medlocke."
"Detective Medlocke, this is Anthony Bradley from Channel Two. Have you got
a minute?"
"Is it about Benton?" Badger whispered.
Jason shook his head and Badger sat down in his chair with a sigh and a
whispered "Fuck."
Jason felt disappointment, too, and let it color his voice.
"Yeah, I got a minute, but that's about all," he said cooly.
Bradley hesitated for a moment and Jason could hear him taking a long breath.
God, here comes some shit, he thought.
"First of all, I want to apologize for that incident a few weeks ago," Bradley said.
"I realize I went too far. I shouldn't have asked such personal questions. They
had nothing to do with the investigation. It's just that I'm new to the station. I
was trying to make a good impression on my bosses. Be a hard-assed reporter,
ask the tough questions, and all that. But my editor reamed me out when he
heard what happened. Said I'd acted like an asshole. And I had to agree with
him."
Jason was taken aback by Bradley's honesty. He hardly knew what to say.
Reporters are humans, too, he figured, and everyone acts like a dipshit sooner or
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