[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
mind.
"No! Matt, stay calm. Keep Pietr calm."
Matt hugged Pietr tightly, sending soothing thoughts
into his mind. Pietr settled down again, his mind going
back to the nondescript fog. Matt hated it.
Himiko: Bonding - 102
"You won't have to go to a retreat. You just have to
practice. Your symptoms aren't that uncommon with
humans after, for example, a concussion -- and you have
had brain surgery, after all. That's a lot less stressful for
your brain than a concussion, though, so if surgery is the
reason, you'll be fine in a couple of weeks. Personally, I
think that you're just sensitive; your mental powers are
so strong that the addition of other impressions was
more than you could take at that moment."
"At that moment? So I'll learn?"
"You'll learn. If not, I'll teach you."
Aki sounded so certain that Matt did relax, trusting
his mentor's words. He was exhausted.
"I'm so tired all the time -- I never seem to recover
from one thing before something else happens. Is that
normal, too?"
"Nothing's really normal with you." For the first time,
Aki's voice was gently teasing. "You're progressing a lot
faster than most. But yes, since you recently had brain
surgery and you're going through strenuous exercises,
it's quite normal. You can sleep if you need to."
"I... Pietr won't panic if I'm not awake when he
comes to?"
Aki smiled reassuringly.
"No, he'll find you even if you're asleep. He'll
probably wake you, but as long as you're just sleeping,
he can reach you."
"Okay. I think I'll sleep a little, then." Matt closed his
eyes. If he slept, maybe Pietr would be there when he
woke up. He felt Aki gently stroking his hair; then he
fell asleep.
***
Himiko: Bonding - 103
Matt was woken by a sorrow so big that it took his
breath away.
You left me! Pietr was clinging to him, arms and legs
wrapped tightly around Matt's body and his mate's mind
an open wound of grief.
"Pietr! Pietr, I'm right here. I'm not leaving you."
Matt poured reassurance and love and calm into his
mate's mind, but it didn't help.
You left!
The intensity of Pietr's feelings of loss and
hopelessness shocked Matt. They had told him that Pietr
needed him the same way he needed Pietr, but
somehow, he had considered Pietr to be stronger, to be
able to go on without him. He was astonished to learn
that it wasn't so. He had almost lost Pietr. He cradled his
lover, hugging Pietr tightly.
I'm so sorry, baby. I didn't mean to. And I won't do it
again; I'll stay with you now.
You left me. Pietr was calming down, and now Matt
could feel the traces of the sedative clouding his
thoughts, explaining some of his panic. Matt held him
more tightly, trying to comfort him with both body and
mind.
I'm here, baby. I'm not going anywhere.
Pietr reached out. Promise? He sounded like a lost
child, and it almost made Matt break down.
I promise, baby. I'll stay with you.
Just like that, Pietr accepted Matt's reassurance and
went back to sleep.
Matt cradled his mate and pulled the comforter
around them. Then he settled in to watch over his lover,
giving Pietr comfort and peace while the Himiko slept.
***
Himiko: Bonding - 104
When Pietr woke up again, the Himiko was crying
and clinging to him. Matt desperately tried to comfort
his mate.
Shh, baby, it's okay. I'm here. Don't cry.
I was all alone! The anguish was so deep that it
shocked Matt. The sobs wracked Pietr's body.
I'm so sorry, baby. So, so sorry. I didn't mean to
leave you. Matt frantically tried to calm Pietr down with
his hands and his mind. He felt miserable about fucking
up again. It was one thing to have difficulties learning
things, but this time he'd almost gotten his mate killed.
Oddly enough, it was Matt's distress that calmed
down Pietr. It wasn't your fault. It was just too much for
you.
Of course it was my fault. I was the one who freaked
out.
Pietr gently cradled Matt's head, his kisses tasting
salty from his tears. You couldn't help it. I just got so
scared when you left me.
Matt could sense the echo of Pietr's terror, of the
emptiness he had felt when Matt passed out and left him
all alone.
I'm so sorry. Matt didn't know what else to say, what
to do, the guilt almost choking him.
You're doing fine. Just stay with me. Pietr took a
shaky breath and pulled him closer. Matt knew that he
had no right to allow this, that he should be the one
helping Pietr, but he couldn't help it and started crying.
He was ashamed of being inadequate, so useless that he
[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]