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And deceitful, Philip amended, smiling.
Elizabeth took a deep breath. I had to
Do not go into it all again, John interrupted. Suffice it to say that she
doesn t trust me, and wishes my brother were alive.
She frowned and looked away, remaining silent.
Well, your maidservant is doing a good job impersonating you, Philip said.
I
just left your bedchamber.
John and Elizabeth both gaped at him, but he held up a hand.
I decided to see how easy it was to come down from the top of the tower, as
a
Bladesman might.
And since your neck isn t broken, John said with sarcasm, I can see you
managed the feat.
It was quite exhilarating. And the poor girl was starved for company, but
she
never once led me to believe she was anyone other than Lady Elizabeth. He
rubbed his chin. A maidservant, eh? Seems she and I have things in common:
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we
do much for our friends. I allowed myself to be severely beaten, and she
allowed
herself to be imprisoned.
And you ll both receive our gratitude when we straighten out this mess,
John
said.
This mess is my life, Elizabeth responded with anger. She grabbed up her
wimple, and with practiced ease she secured her hair, wrapped the cloth about
her head, and walked toward the door. Now, if you ll excuse me, I need to
find
my pallet.
John stepped in her way. Remember the missive. I ll need it by tomorrow.
He saw her hesitation, knew her worry. He tried to soften his tone, but it
still
came out harsh. Your army wants to defend you, to fulfill the oaths they
swore
to your father. Do not be cruel enough to deny them.
She drew in a breath and closed her eyes, whispering, I don t want anyone
hurt.
And I will do my best to ensure that.
She finally nodded. You will have the missive and the imprint of my ring in
the
wax. Now let me go.
He let relief surge in and replace his anger. And where do you sleep again?
In the kitchens.
That is not a safe place for an earl s daughter. You should remain here.
Everyone already thinks you re in my bed.
Not my own people, she said in a low voice. They trust me.
No wonder they barely talked to you these last few days. They were afraid to
reveal your identity. They are very loyal to you.
And I cannot betray their loyalty. Let me go.
When he didn t move right away, she raised her eyes and implored him.
Please.
He stared down at her, and saw a woman in circumstances not of her making,
whose
parents and betrothed had just died. She was responsible for a castle full of
people, while two grown men fought over her.
And he felt the first bit of sympathy for her.
He stepped aside, and she swept out of the chamber as majestically as any
countess.
Philip closed the door behind her, and then put his back to it as he gave John
a
grin. I must say, this works out for you. No more worries about who you
desire.
Aye, that is the one bright spot in this whole mess. But tis easily
overshadowed by thoughts of a long marriage full of mistrust, and a bride s
wish
that she was marrying a different man.
Philip put a hand on his shoulder. It has only been a few days. Give her a
chance to let passion become more. You re a good man, John. She ll realize
that
soon enough.
Though John nodded, he had his doubts. He felt like a fool, like he was that
little boy again that no one expected much of, least of all himself. He d
grown
into a confident, talented man why was it so easy for Elizabeth to make him
feel
otherwise?
He would win her trust and respect, make her realize that he cared more for
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the
honor of his family than a title. He would become a man of her people, rather
than one who craved adventure. Surely he had had enough travel for one
lifetime,
he insisted to himself.
Yet none of that mattered when he needed her money. Wishing it weren t so
didn t
make the guilt go away.
Chapter 16
T he next morning, as Sarah and Katherine were mounting their horses to leave
for their foster home, Elizabeth secretly watched them, hidden behind a bush
in
the lady s garden. They were so young, with their lives yet before them. They
were learning all that was involved in being a lady of the castle, basking in
the attention of another family. Neither one of them was betrothed, although
she
knew that that duty would fall to her husband.
To John. And he would probably take great pride in performing his duty as the
head of the household. Elizabeth wished that she could be the one to help
shape
such an important decision.
Strangely, she could barely stop from crying as her sisters and their party
of
soldiers departed through the gatehouse. She wished to be them, young enough
to
be confident that everything would work out. Elizabeth didn t even know how
she
wanted everything to work out.
She took a breakfast tray up to Anne, and let her talk excitedly about the
man
who d come through her window.
Finally Anne noticed how quiet Elizabeth was. So what has happened? she
demanded, hands on her hips. You let me chatter on like
You deserve to chatter on. You never have anyone to talk to.
Aye, but it makes me the worst sort of friend not to see that you re
troubled.
What is it?
Elizabeth heaved a sigh and tried to smile, although it came out as a
grimace.
John discovered who I am.
Anne gasped. How?
He overheard me persuading my sisters to leave.
They re here? she cried.
Elizabeth explained what had happened, how John had behaved with her sisters.
She grudgingly respected that he had not shouted accusations at her in front
of
them.
Did he want to speak to you alone?
Of course. He was angry.
But he must be relieved.
Relieved? Elizabeth echoed in confusion.
He was& enamored of you, was he not?
She tried not to blush. He was playing a part. But she remembered his
passionate kiss, and wondered if part of his response to her had been relief.
Perhaps he was only glad that his standing among the castle residents would
not
be in jeopardy when they discovered his identity.
There was something& bothersome about being the object of his physical
attention,
when she still loved the memory of his brother.
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Surely if she d had a chance to be intimate with William, she would have felt
more desire for him, her first betrothed. When William smiled, the sun had
shone
brighter, and she had basked in its warmth.
When John s smoldering gaze caught her, a darkness seemed to sweep through
her
mind, taking all her rational thought away. She lost control; she lost
herself.
John had slept little during the night. His thoughts had run in circles as he
analyzed what he was supposed to do about Elizabeth.
After mass, when he broke his fast, he sat alone with his thoughts while he
ate.
He still couldn t believe the woman he knew as Anne was his betrothed. And
though she mistrusted him severely, at least she wasn t demanding an
annulment
of the contract. That only meant he was a better prospect than Bannaster, or
that she was determined to honor her parents wishes, regardless.
Although he could not forget all the things he was angry with her about,
dwelling on it would not make the transition to marriage easier. It was time
to
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