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got me off.'
Krystel raised her cigar to her mouth, and then stopped and held it up before her. It was shaking slightly.
Krystel stared at it until it stopped.
'The colonists were all dead. Wiped out to the last man, woman and child. The Empire sent the best it
had against the aliens. Seasoned attack troops, battle espers, even one company of adjusted men. None
of them lasted long. Finally the Fleet moved in and scorched the entire surface of the planet from orbit.
Grendel is under quarantine now, guarded by half a dozen Imperial starcruisers. Just in case there are
more sealed vaults and more Sleepers, hidden deep beneath the surface.
'And that's why I'm here with you, Captain. Because I missed the warning signs and let the creatures
loose. And because I hadn't the sense to get myself honourably killed on Grendel. Maybe I'll do better
this time.'
They sat in silence a while, staring out at the darkness and the thickening mists beyond the force Screen.
Krystel turned and looked at Hunter for the first time. 'So tell me, Captain, what was it like, out in the
Rim worlds?'
Hunter tried to answer her, and his throat closed up on him. He struggled to get the words out anyway.
She'd told him her story as honestly as she could, and he was damned if he'd do less for her.
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'It's dark out there, on the Rim. The stars are scattered thinly across the gulf, and habitable planets are
few and far between. Beyond the edge of our galaxy lies the endless night, a darkness so deep no ship
has ever crossed it and returned. But the Rim planets are still part of the Empire, and have to be
patrolled.
'Time seems to move differently out there. It drags on slowly, each day like the day before, until you
can't tell one day from another. The endless dark preys on your nerves, like an itch you can't scratch.
You begin to feel as if you've always been out on the Rim, and always will be. You can't ever relax.
Ships disappear on the Rim, and no one knows why. You start to look forward to trouble breaking out,
because at least then there'll be some action, something to do, something to strike back at.
I was a good soldier. I carried out my orders, defended the Empire from her enemies, and never once
questioned a command. Until they made me a Captain. You see, then I had to give the orders, and more
and more I found the reasons behind those orders just weren't good enough. Sometimes they didn't even
make sense. But I gave the orders, and saw them followed through because my superiors told me to. I
was a good soldier. But during the endless watches, spent staring out into the starless gulf, I began to
wonder if their reasons were any better than mine, if their orders were any more sensible than mine, or if
we were all just stumbling blindly in the dark.
'Giving orders began to grow more difficult. Making decisions, any decisions, took more and more of an
effort. I didn't trust my superiors any more, or the Empire, and certainly not myself. I lost all sense of
security, of stability. I couldn't depend on anything any more. Just getting through the day got harder all
the time. Even small, simple decisions had to be wrestled over until I became distracted. I started having
to check things over and over, to make sure I'd done them, even though I knew I had. Sometimes I gave
the same order two or three times, and checked up on my crew to be sure it had been carried out.
'People began to notice. Some of them started to talk about me. I knew, but I did nothing about it. I
didn't know whether to feel worried, or relieved. And then an order came through that I couldn't ignore.
A starship had gone rogue in my sector. I was to hunt it down and destroy it. It wasn't difficult to find.
The rogue ship turned out to be the same class as mine, and armed to the teeth. In the heat of the battle I
had to give orders quickly and efficiently, and I couldn't. I panicked, unable to decide what to do, and
my ship was blown apart. I got away in one of the lifeboats. So did some of my crew. Certainly more
than enough to place the blame on me.
'But I wasn't to blame. Not really. It was the Rim. All that darkness with no stars. The Rim would drive
anyone over the edge if they stayed out there long enough.
'And that's why I'm here, Investigator. I lost my sense of security and stability, so they sent me here. To
Hell'
He smiled briefly, and looked at the Investigator. Her face was calm and impassive, as always, and he
was glad of that. If she'd shown him anything that even looked like pity, he thought he might have hit her.
But she didn't say anything, and after a while he looked away again.
'Captain,' said Krystel finally. 'Just supposing that the city does check out as harmless, and the Empire
does establish a colony here, what will you do? I mean, what will you do as a colonist? They're not going
to need a starship Captain.'
'I hadn't really thought about it,' said Hunter. 'I've got my military training. That's always useful in itself.
How about you?'
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